I talked with Sandy about the questions and here are his answers: "There's nothing hard about marriage if you marry the right person" and "Of course!"
My answers are a bit more long winded.
Marriage isn't hard, if you're in it with the right person. However, it's not always a walk in the park. I know it sounds cliche, but it takes work - intentional focus not on the idea of marriage, but on the person you're married to. Sandy & I have a lot in common, but we're both very different people. Our ways of approaching things (money, relationships, communication) are different. Had we not explored at least some of this before we got married, we'd be in trouble by now. How you communicate with one another, how you talk out the areas where you have differing opinions, how you make the decisions together is important. We don't always reach a decision that makes both of us happy, but we respect and care enough about each other that we both bend.
It's like any other relationship you have (parents, friends, coworkers). You have to respect your spouse as much (or more) than you love them. Part of that respect means making sure you let them know that you don't take them for granted.
I love Sandy more than I did when I first realized I wanted to spend forever with him. The "feelings" have developed and changed over time, but the love has grown. I respect him more now that I did when we got married. He's proven to me that he's going to be there when I need him, when my life is falling apart, he's my rock. He's my biggest supporter and advocate. He encourages me and sees things in me that I don't see in myself. I love him. Completely.
Time passes, people change and evolve. He's not the exact same man I fell in love with or married. He's changed... I know I've changed. I hope we've both grown into better people. The important thing to me is that we recognize that we're going to develop and evolve as individuals and that we have to again be intentional about making sure that as we grow up, we're not drifting apart. I still pray for him and for our marriage every day because I know that when we fail each other, God is there.
Marriage isn't just about love, it's about commitment and respect. You have to have the last two for the first one to last.
I love you, Sandy. Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I look forward to spending the rest of my days with you.
